


But with you, I won’t give up

by YOrememberme



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Major Original Character(s), Medical Conditions, Medical Procedures, Minor Injuries, Other, Surgery, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Yell For The Future gave me feelings, and guess who bought it, but he deals with it for nao, cute puppies too, damn these two are gonna be the death of me, happy ending I promise, hospitals hate natsuya, is life, like the freakin makoharu always here, mention of doggos, most of (all) free duet songs give feelings ya know, natsunao, natsuya got a motorbike as a bd gift, oops im sidetracked, some family drama crap, some precious bonding time, sorry back to natsunao, sorry this is so overwhelming, why am i rambling in tags, yup this angel called nao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:00:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25714693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YOrememberme/pseuds/YOrememberme
Summary: Natsuya comes back to Japan and gets to see Nao again. Although Nao is so happy to see his best friend, he can't help but feel slightly worried that something big is going to happen. The next coming days bring some shocking news, and Nao can't be his old self again.sorry i cant summarize it better than this, just read it if you love these dorks
Relationships: Kirishima Natsuya/Serizawa Nao
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13





	1. We can meet anytime

**Author's Note:**

> a special calling to all natsunao lovers, welcome to my humble fic 
> 
> so i woke up with the sudden urge to write this. i dont know where it came from but plz enjoy it. in case some1 doesnt know already, natsunao owns my heart.
> 
> title inspired by lyrics of Yell For The Future yup that damn emotional natsunao song heck i dont even know is it only me or does this song get more emotionally emotional with each emotional second passing?!?!?!? ajshdhdsgsbssgsubsjsks
> 
> no more rambling, enjoy~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nao is finally seeing him. Nothing can ruin our beautiful bonding hour, Nao whispers to himself. Or so he thought.

_naaaaaao y arent u here already!!!_

A small smile slipped into the lilac haired male's lips, an amused chuckle followed as he stared at the impatient message. 

He could certainly imagine the pout on the tan guy's lips as he typed the message. Maybe accompanied by an adorable whine or some feet stomping. It had been a while, sure, but the taller between them had always acted as if it had been centuries since they last saw each other. Nao would be lying if he said he wasn't excited, the thought of seeing Natsuya again could never fail to make his heart skip a beat. 

Dusty memories of certain studying sessions popped up every time his gaze fell on the huge text books and fully written papers on his desk.

Nao was a dedicated student, he had always been. But the feeling of wanting to screw up just for once and follow his best friend's strategies of postponing some homework (and spending an entire weekend hanging out and dragging both of them into shops and parks they probably hadn't visited before in their whole life and playing pranks on said best friend's little brother and maybe sneaking into a grumpy man's garden to pet his _cute_ dog) always tickled his heart in a weird way he couldn't explain and he suddenly wanted to be a high schooler again. Back when they were young and reckless, Nao would slip into the cover of darkness and tiptoe to his room quietly, afraid of waking his family up and getting caught, and once inside his safe room, he would kneel to pray and thank God that Natsuya's crazy plans didn't end with a disaster. Not that it never didn't end with one. And the moment his head would touch the pillow, a pile of notifications would pop on his phone's screen and send his whole nightstand buzzing.

_sleep well nao! that was so fun, hope we can kidnap the dog the next time we do this heh_

_No_. Nao would be a foolish guy to allow such day to be repeated again. Especially with his best friend's upcoming birthday and his gift happening to be a motorbike. A freaking _motorbike_. Absolutely _not_ happening. Imagine their families reaction if they saw them wandering around the city on a motorbike. Nao doesn't know why he came up with such idea.

" _I want a bike_ " Natsuya said after Nao asked him what present he would like to have on his birthday. 

Well, yeah, Natsuya said he wanted that but it didn't mean that Nao had to give it to him, right?. The morning after said birthday night would mark the day Iwatobi got to suffer from ear piercing roaring as Natsuya drove his dazzling baby around the small city with that stupidly handsome smile on his young face all the freaking day.

_naaaao come onnnnnnn im dying here_

Another message lighted Nao's phone screen. Attached was a picture of the same pout Nao had imagined a few moments ago. A slight frown of the tan guy's brows could tell Nao enough. He must have been really dying waiting for him to be there. Nao chuckled again as he moved his long fingers to type a message. This time trying his best to sound serious, he couldn't help but tease the brown haired male a bit more.

_sorry natsuya something came up_

A pause. And as expected, a confused reply came.

_nao what do you mean_

Nao bit his lip to prevent himself from letting out a fit of giggles. 

_i wont make it in time. maybe you should go on without me_

His finger hovered above the send button in hesitation. With a slight nod to himself, he pressed the button and waited for the bomb to land safely on the other side.

But, no thing came back.

No thing.

The three dots didn't appear again and it only meant that the other guy had stopped typing and must be staring at his phone like how Nao imagined him doing. 

  
_He must be freaking out,_ Nao whispered. 

The woman sitting in front of his seat must have dropped something because it landed with a loud thud and was followed by some gasps. A hiccup rang in Nao's ears and he fought the urge to take a peek. The space between the two seats in front of him provided some chance to see what was happening. A toddler was threatening to break into tears on the woman's lap, his tiny hands grabbing the front of his mother's blouse tightly. Before Nao could think of anything else, something touched his foot. He was wearing a pair of light sports shoes but the object seemed to roll a bit under his feet as the train moved. Nao bent to pick it up. _Oh_. So this must be the object which fell moments ago. Nao inspected the toy with a small smile. As the next hiccups rolled out of the toddler's mouth, Nao knew he had to save the situation.

  
"Um, excuse me.."

The woman turned to her right then left in confusion. 

"In the back.."

Finally, she glanced over her shoulder and spotted Nao. A bright red toy between his hands.

"Oh! Thank you, sir! It must have fallen under the seats!"

As the woman spoke, another pair of eyes was staring at Nao. Big, rounded red eyes.

"Here, take it yourself, sweetie. Since you were the one who dropped it." 

The woman leaned back a bit to give the toddler some space to reach for the toy in Nao's hands. He was a boy with dark hair, red piercing eyes and a familiar pout Nao swore he had seen more than a hundred times in his life.

"Hello, little one."

Nao talked in a hushed tone, not wanting to scare the kid. Nao knew that kids at such age must be mostly familiar with their parents faces and would be confused if another unfamiliar face appeared out of no where in their vision fields. So he took his time to let the kid stare at his face for a while before talking again.

"That's a nice toy. Does it have a name?"

Nao said as he leaned a little to let the kid's hands curl around the dog plushie.

"...olt.."

If Nao didn't pay enough attention, he would have missed it. He wasn't prepared to hear the almost under a whisper voice. He thought the voice would match with the fire in those red eyes. Just like how a certain loud voice would match with a certain pair of amber eyes Nao had never failed to get lost in. 

But olt? What was that?

  
Nao took another glance at the toy and could now understand why he felt like he had seen the dog character before. _Oh_. _Bolt_. From that animated film.

"Well, thanks again, young man. And sorry for disrupting you."

The high pitched voice of the woman brought him back to reality in a sudden.

"Oh, no worries, ma'am."

He said politely and the pair in front of him turned with similar happy expressions on their faces.

Just when Nao was about to relax and lean back in his chair, the train came to a stop. And at the same time, Nao's phone buzzed in his pocket. Not a text, but a call.   
With a little shake of his head, Nao stood up and gracefully slid his bag on his shoulder as he made his way out of the train. Phone still buzzing in his hand, he made sure to walk some distance away from the train station and the crowd of people before he swiped the screen to answer the call.

"Hello?"

" _Naaaaao,"_

The whine Nao had been expecting sounded even more childish now he got to hear it.

"Natsuya,"

" _Don't you dare 'Natsuya' me!_ "

The glasses guy walked past a familiar shop as he let out a chuckle. He might as well make a quick stop.

" _Don't laugh at me either! Why are you late? And what the hell did you mean 'something came up'?? Naaaaao, you aren't ditching me, are you_?"

As he let the other continue with his childish act, Nao entered the shop, phone sandwiched between his cheek and shoulder. 

"So you do think that I might ditch you?"

Nao grabbed the paper bag from the old man and told him to keep the change with a small smile. 

" _Naaaaao, please don't do this to meee_ "

Balancing the present on one hand and proceeding to close the door of the shop with the other, phone slipping slightly but he brought a quick hand to grab it as he let go of the door.

" _What was that? Where are you? That sounded like your bedroom door. You aren't going to bed right now, are you?_ "

"Darling, calm down. I'm not ditching you. You know I would never do that."

His legs carried him down the familiar path as he smiled to himself when he thought of how many times Natsuya had been worried that Nao might not be able to make it due to his tight schedule. Not that he wouldn't make some time to see his best friend who hadn't _shut up_ about wanting to meet up with him since he landed some days ago.

" _Then where are you!? I can't believe you are late, Nao!"_

Chuckling to himself again, Nao brought his hand to push away some of his strands that kept falling down his face as the wind blew. His hair wasn't the usual long one he used to grow back in high school but it was still messing with his vision even after he cut it short.

"I'm close by. Be patient."

He didn't get to utter another word as his eyes finally fell on the restaurant in front of him. But he didn't expect to see the lean male standing outside and pressing a phone to his ear. He could only see his back but he was damn sure it was Natsuya. The brown mob would always tell him so. His hair looked like he hadn't brushed it not even once in a while.

" _It's more charming like this, isn't it?"_

Natsuya said when Nao urged him to take better care of his chocolate hair one day. _Curse_ this confidence. 

" _What the hell, Nao? My legs hurt so bad. I could never imagine such cruel treatment from an angel like you! I've been standing on these damn legs for..for.._ " Knowing him, he probably wanted to calculate how many seconds he had been waiting instead of simply saying he had been waiting for half an hour, being dramatic wasn't a new trait to Natsuya. 

And as the trophy swimmer struggled with the math, Nao took the opportunity to scold him. Voice coming out soft and gentle, not bearing to wait to do his favourite activity of scolding the taller anymore.

"Such language in public? I thought I taught you better, Natsuya."

He didn't know if he should end the call or not, but as the quick spin of the body standing some distance in front of him could tell, Nao knew the swimmer had heard him. In the end, he pressed the end button and pushed the device into his pocket. A small smile crawling to his lips as he took in the scene in front of him. 

Natsuya hadn't changed much. He just sent him a picture some moments ago but seeing him face to face had always sent this kind of sensation down his spine. His eyes were glowing as the warm golden lights coming from the restaurant shone on them. He grew taller than the last time Nao had seen him. He looked a bit thinner, Nao had scolded him a few times during their very late video calls (very late, because Natsuya was lazier than to calculate the difference in the time zones between Japan and wherever the hell he was and once ended up calling Nao at 3 in the morning) that he needed to eat actual food and not the mountains of junk Natsuya had kept on packing beside his bed. His looks seemed to grow sharper too. But he still gave Nao the same nostalgic vibes from high school. 

"Nao!"

So loud and surprised. Like every time they saw each other after Natsuya decided to bless Japan with his presence. It was always the same loud and startled and somehow gentle in its own way 'Nao!'.

"Hey."

Nao followed his greeting with a smile that seemingly did something to Natsuya. Because the next thing he knew, Nao was crushed in a very tight hug and he swore he was almost raised from the ground a little. He couldn't believe Natsuya's hugs could grow this stronger each time the taller enveloped him in one.

"I missed you, Nao."

The words never failed to embrace Nao's heart with such warmth.

"I missed you too, Natsuya."

He brought an arm to wrap around Natsuya's middle.

Before the hug broke, Natsuya made sure to nuzzle his face into Nao's scarfed neck a little.

"I can't actually believe you joked about this, Nao! Your message sounded so serious, you know" The brown haired male took a step back and did his best to pull the impression off.

" _Sorry Natsuya, something came up"_ As firm and ' _Nao'ish_ as he could, Natsuya said and put up his most serious expression.

A jingling laughter escaped Nao's mouth before he knew it. He brought a hand to his face to hide his embarassment. 

"Huh. Made you laugh in less than ten seconds. The fastest time so far, don't ya think?"

A satisfied grin pulled Natsuya's lips up and he wiggled his brows at the shorter male.

"Idiot."

Nao cleared his throat and grabbed his best friend by the elbow to step into the restaurant.

"You're not going to ask why I took so long time to call you when you dropped your oh-so-funny bomb?" Natsuya said with a teasing voice.

"I think you're going to tell me anyway" Nao put down his bag beside him, careful not to expose his gift yet.

"You know me so well," The amber eyed guy said and rested his chin in his hand, "I had to help this kid with a dog". Nao's eyes widened, but he didn't interrupt.

"He must have gotten lost in the middle of the crowd while crossing the street, you know. I found him crying by a bench at that playground," Natsuya pointed an index to the place behind the glass window of the restaurant. "He was so scared. But he had a _cool_ dog! So I knew he wouldn't be a weak kid. The dog kept barking every now and then, as if calling for the kid's parents in his own way. I stayed with him until his parents picked up the dog's calls and ran to scoop him up with teary eyes" A relieved sigh went out of his mouth as he recalled the scene.

"I'm so proud of you."

"I know! I'm proud of myself too." He scratched his cheek a little before uttering in a hushed tone, "I liked the dog so much. He was cool. I called him a good boy and he let me pet him a bit, Nao!" He finished with such lovestruck look on his face. 

Maybe Nao should get him a _puppy_ on his next birthday.

Nao was about to point out the coincidence of him also helping a kid with his dog toy, but Natsuya was already asking him a question. 

"Oh, what's that?" Natsuya blinked before pointing at the paper bag leaning on Nao's creamy bag.

"Uh, it is a present for you. I picked it up on my way."

"Oh! You brought me something! Naaaaao, you are so sweet."

Natsuya shamelessly whined and dropped his head on the table, a smile tugged on Nao's lips as he knew his gift would most likely bring the exact reaction out of Natsuya.

"But you brought some souvenir for me, right? It's only fair if I give you something in return."

Nao tilted his head to the side, long strands falling down his face again.

"No! I'm supposed to bring you _souvenirs_ because I'm the _one_ flying around the world! I don't need anything in return, Nao. Just you being here means everything to me."

Surprised by his own words, Natsuya brought a hand to scratch his cheek as he ducked his head down a little.

Nao was at loss of words.

He knew how much Natsuya loved their meetings and the whole catching up they would have to do and the warm exchange of greetings and tight hugs. But he didn't expect to hear these words from Natsuya. It almost sounded like I'm glad you are here even after I left long time ago.

He must have been feeling homesick a lot lately. Since the last 2 a.m. call they had, Natsuya sounded even more homesick than ever. He kept hiding his watering eyes every time Nao would ask him how he was doing. 

Truth was, Natsuya had been struggling to make a decision. He needed a slight push. But he got an entire shove. And that was when he knew he had to take the next flight to Japan as soon as possible. Nao was surprised but not entirely when he got Natsuya's message saying that he was back in Japan and wanted to see him. The lilac haired guy himself was growing impatient. He wanted to ask Natsuya to come back, but he also knew that his selfish request might mess with his best friend's dream of traveling the world and enjoying wild races. So he settled on enjoying their video calls as much as he could.

  
"Nao?"

A hand touched his arm, and Nao jumped a little.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."

Natsuya retreated his hand and continued to stare at his present, still safe and sound inside the bag.

"It's okay. I just zoned out."

Nao let out a sigh before putting his chin in his hand, mimicking his best friend's previous position.

"I will not tell you what it is but,"

Amber eyes stared back at his green ones in anticipation.

"But it's something you can eat."

"Yes! I knew it!"

The tan guy threw a fist in the air as he got his patience rewarded.

"You know me too well, Nao. I wish Ikuya would be like you. You know, last time he gifted me something, it was a lollipop. A damn lollipop. Can you believe it, Nao? I couldn't tell if he was actually being considerate or making fun of me!"

"Well, I won't blame him. You always prefer your gifts to be food, right?" Nao argued, smile already pulling at the corners of his lips.

"Yeah but, he gave me a lollipop. Now I would have accepted such act if only he gave me four or five boxes of lollipops and not just one" He dropped his face in his hand, looking at Nao's amused expression in utter betrayal.

"Aren't you a bit too old-?" Before Nao could finish, a whine cut him off. 

"Nao, I'm never too old to not enjoy sweets! What are you trying to say?!" Natsuya might or might not have stomped his feet under the table.

Nao could only chuckle, a low 'idiot' escaping his lips.

"Anyway, should we eat that at your place after this?" Natsuya said as he pushed the bracelets on his wrist back a little. They would go to Nao's place and Natsuya would tell him about his wild adventures and Nao would open his souvenirs one by one and then they would watch a movie and play video games and devour _mountains_ of food even if Nao had classes in the _morning_ , yes, they totally would. Because Natsuya _said so._

"I was thinking the same" Nao nodded before turning to thank the waiter with a polite smile as he put down their orders in front of them.

And if they were already planning on devouring the entire boxes of pastries Nao had purchased earlier when they were already having a decent dinner in front of them, well, it was their own business.

* * *

  
"I'm not going to drink that poison, Nao!" 

Natsuya cringed as he eyed the cup Nao was holding close to his lips.

"It's just coffee."

"Exactly! Most terrible poison ever existed."

An annoying whine rolled out of his mouth.

"You don't have to taste it, dear."

"B-But Nao! We should taste each other's drinks. We always do that when we see each other. Except you had to be weird this time and order this crap!"

He pointed at the iced coffee as if it had offended him somehow.

"Then, I'll order another thing so you can taste it instead of this one."

A moment of silence fell on both of them. Natsuya's eyes widened upon the realization.

"And like that...we...won't have to break from our tradition! Gosh, you are so smart, Nao!"

The male with olive eyes shook his head a little as he stood up to bring himself another drink. He didn't miss Natsuya's 'choose something sweet this time!' yell as he walked to the counter.

While his best friend was picking something better than the crap that was occupying his cup some moments ago, Natsuya took out his phone to district himself a little. He was surprised to find a text from his little brother.

_hey how is it going_

His lips pulled into a pout as he typed an angry reply.

_dont talk to me. Im still mad at u bcs u didnt meet up with me yesterday!_

The reply came instantly.

_idiot i told u i was busy_

The older let out a huff at his little brother's cruelty.

_but i will make it up to u next week_

No way. 

Did he just read that? 

Did Ikuya just..sound sincere?

A huge grin crept on his face, might as well break his face into halves as he typed his next reply.

_AW IKUYA U ARE SO SWEET_

Without missing a beat, the message popped immediately in the conversation's room.

_shut up_

Ikuya must have some free time to be texting his idiot brother at such hour. Wasn't it his studying hours time anyway?

_Love u too_

After he typed the response that always provoked his little brother, Natsuya adjusted his looks a little as he raised his hand in front of him.

Smile in place, fingers making a peace sign, a wink to flutter some hearts. _Perfect_. And he snapped it.

As he was sending his little brother the picture, Nao slid into the seat across from him quietly. A slightly worried expression was on his face. If it wasn't Natsuya, the expression would have gone unnoticed.

"Nao? What's wrong?"

He said as he quickly pressed the send button before turning his full attention to the male in front of him.

"Nothing. I think this is a better choice, hm?"

Natsuya raised an eyebrow, something was off. He ignored the drink Nao had pushed toward him and instead leaned forward a bit to catch what was worrying his best friend.

"Nao, are you okay?"

Nao nodded almost quickly, hand coming up to adjust his slipping glasses on his nose bridge.

"You're lying."

It was a sight so rare to be seen. Nao had always been the smarter between them. But Natsuya would be a fool if he didn't pick up the slight crack in Nao's voice as he uttered the next words.

"It's really nothing. I just feel dizzy."

Dizzy?

What on earth- oh.

Oh.

Crap. Natsuya could now understand what was going on.


	2. You can show me your bitter tears too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsuya is worried, though he couldn't define what is worrying him, he just knew that it had something to do with the uneasiness on Nao's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And baby Ikuya makes a surprising appearance around the end of the chapter!
> 
> sorry about the confusion, i just realized that i switched the names of the first chapter and this one, but i solved it and hopefully everything makes sense now. sorry again

“Nao?”

  


  


Natsuya’s eyes widened, mouth slightly open upon the realization.

  


  


The purple haired male wasn’t looking at him. His eyes were stuck on the cup in front of him, both hands gripping tightly on it although there was a faint cloud of hot air hovering above the cup.

  


_God, it must hurt_. Natsuya’s hands moved quickly to take the pale ones in them.

  


“Nao! It’s still hot!” He leaned forward in an attempt to blow on them, as if it would _really_ help.

  


“Here,” He let go after he squeezed Nao’s slightly-softer-than-his hands a little. He didn’t lean back, reminding himself not to get distracted, he brought his own hands beneath his chin, interlocking them slowly and fixing his gaze on Nao. Because that was his _secret_ position when he was going to get that answer out of his best friend, who was _still_ avoiding his gaze.

  


“Nao, look at me.” He really didn’t want to pressure him, Natsuya was pretty sure that this wasn’t supposed to happen in the first place.

  


Nao was supposed to be taking _better_ care of himself, since he had literally been nagging Natsuya about taking care of his _troublesome_ ass and better not getting in trouble and calling him at 2 a.m. because he was being chased by drunk creeps whom he may or may not have challenged to a race. _Why would you even try to talk to them? Didn’t I tell you not to talk to strangers?_ Nao’s worried voice on the other line said. He felt really guilty after, he really didn’t mean to make him worry that much, but he liked the feeling of it. Reading Nao’s over exaggerated texts every night or hearing him sigh unconsciously the first second into their video call or simply thinking about his best friend’s slightly raised eyebrows and that hint of worry in his eyes and the little twitch of his lips when he would catch Natsuya red handed.

  


He missed it, the feeling of being taken care of by Nao.

  


He missed _him_.

  


Back in high school, he would flicker Natsuya’s ear when he would space out during practice or hit him lightly on the shoulder with his pen when he would be doodling on his notebook carelessly during class. He had always kept his control in check. He was the calm moon looking over his furious waves. But it all changed after the graduation ceremony when Natsuya told him that he was going to fly around the world instead of going to college. Since that moment at the airport when Nao patted him gently on the head as if he was a little pup and told him to take care, Natsuya started to feel even _more_ conscious about this dream he had pursued. He was going away. Away from his Iwatobi where he spent his most precious memories with his family and friends. Away from his mother and Ikuya.

  


Away from _Nao_.

  


Who tried to hide his tears behind that gentle expression of his. It was at that moment Natsuya felt a new emotion taking over his heart instead of the usual wanderlust he had been building up since he was a kid.

  


_Fear_.

  


Natsuya didn’t want to leave everything behind, he wished if he could travel the world and be at Iwatobi at the same time, yeah, it sounded stupid and well, _Natsuya_ to him. But he also couldn’t put that wanderlust to bed because for him, it had always been the guide he saw in his dreams and the sparkle that twinkled at the distance. He had to follow it. He needed to. So his lust could be _satisfied_. But that emotion, _fear_ , tugged at his very furious heart when his eyes fell on Nao’s trembling hands trying to wrap the scarf around his neck tighter.

  


Nao, who had been there for him since the first time they saw each other. They caught each other’s gazes at the lockers room back in middle school. And of course, the first thing Nao had said to him was ‘ _you didn’t bring an umbrella, did you?_ ’. Startled? Yup. Natsuya took a ridiculous amount of time to grab ahold of what was happening. They tried their best to squeeze in so they could both fit under the navy blue umbrella. With Nao’s soft words ringing close to his ear and a warm ray of kindness shinning from his face, Natsuya could tell that he had just found the _savior_ he was looking for. Since then, they could be occasionally found studying at the school library (well, Nao was the _one_ studying while Natsuya was doodling on Nao’s notebook, _again_ ) or having lunch under a tree while discussing about their team’s recent progress . They would sometimes take the studying sessions to Natsuya’s _super_ messy room at the Kirishima’s residence, at least he cleaned it twice a month. While Natsuya’s looked like a vortex just visited the place, Nao’s room was the definition of ‘ _perfect_ ’.

  


Everything about Nao was perfect.

  


But on one certain day, the wall Nao had built around himself shattered.

  


Natsuya had never seen that painful look on his best friend’s face before. Even after he was lying comfortably on the hospital bed and covered with white sheaths and having an eye patch hiding his right eye’s olive pupil, Natsuya could see the remnants of the pain lingering on his pale face. “ _Nao, will you be alright?_ ” Natsuya asked, not believing what the doctors had told him and only wanted to hear the words coming from his best friend’s mouth.

  


“ _I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me, Natsuya._ ” Nao spoke quietly, gently, like he always did.

  


Even this incident didn’t throw him off his conditions, he just looked a bit tired and paler now, but his face still had that gentle expression on.

  


_Okay, Nao would be okay. They were professionals and the surgery was a success and Nao would just have to wear some glasses from now on. Everything would be alright._ He kept whispering these words to himself while staring at his room’s ceiling before he drifted to sleep with the image of Nao in glasses floating on his mind.

  


Turned out, everything was _not_ alright. It was the second time Natsuya had seen him in pain. And during both times he couldn’t even think of coming up with something to end his best friend’s suffer with. He knew he wouldn’t have been able to do anything the first time it happened, because that was when Nao’s retina detached during their swim practice and he didn’t even know what it _meant_ to have your retina detach. But the second time Nao’s eyes squeezed shut in pain, Natsuya knew he needed to do something about it.

  


So he did the only thing he could think of.

  


He pulled Nao to his chest and moved his hand in soothing circles on his back.

  


“ _S-Sorry, it is j-just ...uh.._ ” Nao muttered but Natsuya knew what was happening this time.

  


“ _It’s okay, Nao. Just relax and don’t think of anything._ ”

  


After a few minutes passed and Nao’s intense headache seemingly subsided a little, Natsuya helped him into lying down on his bed and brought him a cup of water. “ _I think we should call it a day._ ” Natsuya said and sat down beside Nao’s bed, legs in an x position and both elbows resting on his thighs while he watched Nao’s expressions soften after he gulped down the water.

  


“ _Hm_.”

  


He felt a little proud of himself this time, that he could finally help Nao out and he even knew the reason behind his pain, what a progress. He didn’t believe himself when he sat down to type something about retinal problems some days ago, his face cringed when a _long-ass_ article stared back at him. _I don’t even know where in the eye the retina is!_ He whined but let his eyes dart over the words slowly, taking in as much as he could so he wouldn’t look like a complete idiot in front of Nao.

  


Right, it was for _Nao_. He would do _anything_ for him, even if it meant he had to read these annoying words and shoving them into his thick skull _by force_. Feeling tired or nauseated or having such episodes of headache were completely normal after getting to wear glasses for the first time, Natsuya was pretty sure it was the only fact he had absorbed by the end of the day. So he didn’t worry too much when Nao’s headache bothered him when they were in the middle of their studying session inside Nao’s neat bedroom.

  


_"Will it happen again?_ ” He asked with a worried expression, he couldn’t help a pout from forming on his lips.

  


“ _Don’t worry, it won’t. And even if it does, it won’t be this bad._ ” Nao explained.

  


Of course Natsuya had tried to be aware of every important info about the topic but hearing them coming out of his _tutor’s_ mouth was different from behind a blunt, annoying screen.

  


“ _Okay then. But promise to tell me if it happens when we are at school. I’ll make sure to get you home before you lose consciousness or worse-_ ”

  


“ _That won’t happen, Natsuya_.”

  


“ _You never know! I just want to make sure you are alright and won’t suffer too much because of this stupid retina thing!_ ” The chocolate haired boy made a face.

  


“ _Just promise me, Nao._ ” Nao chuckled and nodded, the smile never leaving his lips.

  


The third time he saw Nao holding his head in his hands with his eyes forced shut was behind his phone’s screen in the middle of the night. “ _Nao! What’s wrong?_ ” He half yelled into the screen, face too close in an attempt to see what was bothering his best friend.

  


“ _Uh, it’s nothing. J-Just…_ ”

  


Nao was in pain, even an _idiot_ could see it. But his continuous attempts to make Natsuya not worry about him irked the brown haired male even more than the fact that he was in pain.

  


“ _Nao, hey, look at me._ ” He whispered, voice interlaced with softness he didn’t remember he had used before, except with Ikuya when he was little and being stubborn about eating well.

  


“ _N-Natsuya…_ ” Nao’s shaky voice made Natsuya panic a little but he quickly regained his senses to coax Nao into a calming state.

  


“ _Hey, it’s alright. I know it hurts._ ” He started, hands twitching around his phone, wishing if he could _touch_ Nao’s pale ones and remove them from his face.

  


“ _Remember what I did the last time this happened?_ ”

  


Nao was struggling to let out an answer but Natsuya patiently let him take his time.

  


“ _Y-You hugged me.._ ” The swimming coach uttered, a hiss escaping his mouth made Natsuya flinch a little. _Stupid retina and stupid surgery and stupid headache and stupid pain._

  


“ _And do you know why it helped?_ ” The trophy swimmer questioned, voice coming out smugger than he wanted it to.

  


Nao chuckled, it was shaky and low and sounded painful but Natsuya could hear the _amusement_ behind it.

  


“ _I think I m-might have an idea._ ” Nao managed to say, eyes slowly opening to reveal those glittering olive _jewels_ as the moonlight reflected on them. He looked like he was in less pain, so Natsuya allowed himself to calm down a bit.

  


“ _Tell me._ ”

  


Nao drew a small smile despite his head still throbbing with pain.

  


“ _Because you give the best hugs._ ”

  


Natsuya snorted, a lopsided smile told Nao that he got the right answer.

  


“ _Of course I do. The warmest and strongest hugs ever._ ”

  


“ _That wasn’t what your brother thought the last time you jumped on me at the airport-_ “

  


“ _Hey! That was a one-time incident!_ ”

  


“ _You literally do the same thing every time you come back_.”

  


“ _I missed you so much!_ ”

  


“ _I missed you too but I didn’t tackle you until we both fell to the ground and had your brother click his tongue and make fun of us, did I?_ ”

  


“ _Naaaaao, stop it._ ”

  


If the laugh that rang in his ears wasn’t enough to make him miss Nao even more, the teardrop that traced down Nao's cheek did. And it made the blood of Natsuya's veins _f_ _reeze_.

  


“ _S-Sorry, I just miss you so much right now._ ” The words came soft, _softer_ than the comfy sheath Natsuya was lying his stomach on, one hand clutching his phone while the other cupped his chin, legs swaying in the air.

  


“ _Nao, I miss you too. I wish I was there, to help you._ ” _To take care of you like how you had always been doing to me_.

  


“ _It’s okay, I feel better now. You should sleep_.”

  


“ _No!_ ” It startled both of them.

  


“ _I mean, I want to make sure you are alright, Nao_.”

  


“ _I’m fine, see? It doesn’t hurt anymore_.” Nao removed the hand that was tangled in his hair and brought it to his cheek, cupping it gently.

  


“ _Naaaao, don’t lie to me. Are you sure you are okay? What if it happens again today? I can stay here all night and talk to you._ ” _Night_ , it was almost middle night where Natsuya was, and of course that was the _last_ _thing_ he cared about when he decided to call Nao instead of _sleeping_.

  


As much as Nao wanted to spend his afternoon break talking to Natsuya instead of finishing his research paper, he also needed to be the responsible one between them and tell Natsuya that he needed to go to bed or else he would be a _grumpy_ _man_ when he woke the next morning.

  


“ _But I can’t sleep knowing that you are still in pain, Nao!_ ” A whine similar to a six year old’s escaped the tan male’s lips.

  


“ _I’m fine, really. Get some rest and I’ll call you in the morning, alright?_ ” Nao ended with a soft smile, using that tone he knew Natsuya would _like_ _to be nagged with_.

  


“ _Fine! You better call me once I wake up or I’m taking the next flight to Japan to take better care of you!_ ” Natsuya huffed and adjusted his position so now his head was lying more comfortably on the pillow, phone resting on his chest.

  


“ _Good. Now get some sleep and stop worrying about me_.”

  


“ _Don’t work too hard_.”

  


“ _What a Natsuya thing to say_.”

  


Natsuya let a lazy smile pull his mouth corners up before he muttered a soft ‘ _Bye, Nao_ ’.

  


  


Natsuya stepped into the airport around the New Year Festival and took a taxi in a rush to find himself standing in front of Nao’s apartment in the middle of Tokyo and fudging with the door lock because _damn you door, always giving me hard time_ , breathing heavily and hand quickly pushing the door open after it unlocked with a soft _click_ , he invaded the flat like a _military_ _force_ and threw his coat and bag somewhere on the couch before he ran around the living room area to make his way to Nao’s bed. After throwing himself on the bed and snuggling into the pillow like a _kitten_ , he pulled out his phone and pressed some digits, upper lip caught between his teeth.

  


“ _Hello?_ ”

  


“ _Nao! Why are you taking so long!?_ ”

  


A horn beeped from the other line and he knew that Nao was already walking down the familiar street.

  


“ _I’m almost there. Stop whining._ ” A few moments later, a door being opened echoed in the apartment and Natsuya found himself running toward the male wrapped in a snow-white coat before he realized it.

  


“ _I see that you have already made yourself home, hm?_ ” Nao laughed, a faint cloud of air flying in front of his face.

  


“ _I’m home._ ” Natsuya said without missing a beat.

  


The smile that lit up Nao’s face was all he had been wishing to see since the very early morning he jumped off his bed to pack his bag and return home. _Home_.

  


An unfamiliar ringtone pulled Natsuya back to reality, he blinked before looking down at the phone beside Nao’s cup. He couldn’t see the name but the flinch of Nao’s hand when his eyes fell on the screen told him that it wasn’t something good.

  


“Who’s it?” Natsuya dared to ask, mind still hazy from the memories he had just been flipping inside his head.

  


“A relative. I’ll be back,” Nao stood up and walked outside the restaurant, Natsuya’s amber eyes following him until he stopped beside a street lamp and raised the phone to his ear.

  


A family issue? But couldn’t he have just talked to them in front of Natsuya?

  


_Weird_.

  


He couldn’t help but think about many things that had changed about his best friend in the past few months.

  


Just now, he tried to hide that he was in pain again, and he still hadn’t agreed on Natsuya’s suggestion to see the doctor. It was the last time he was Japan for his brother’s graduation he tried to convince Nao to see the ophthalmologist about his discomfort and pain. “ _I will. Don’t worry about me._ ” It was always the same answer. But he still hadn’t seen the doctor and Natsuya couldn’t help but wonder if something was _preventing_ Nao from going to the hospital. Maybe he started to _hate_ the white building and Natsuya’s habits finally rubbed off on him.

  


“Sorry,” A figure appeared in his vision and he shook his head a little.

  


Nao didn’t want him to worry, so he wouldn’t worry, or look like he was worried. But he really couldn’t help it.

  


“Is everything alright?” He found himself saying, trying his best not to sound too concerned. Nao _didn’t_ like being fussed over, but it was just Natsuya, he should have grown used to it by now.

  


“Yeah. Just going to visit someone this weekend, and they didn’t want me to forget about it in the middle of my college life fuzz.”

  


“Do you want me to come with you?” It sounded like it was kind of an emergency, no one would make a busy college student with a part-time job cross some hundred kilometers distance to _just v_ _isit_ them at Iwatobi out of nowhere, right?

  


“It’s alright. I can handle it alone.”

  


Maybe he should meet up with Ikuya during the period Nao would be absent, though he felt _slightly_ annoyed at the person who wanted to take Nao away from him when he just got back to Japan to see the male.

  


“Sorry for making you worry just now, Natsuya.” It sounded too hushed, shy and apologetic.

  


“Hey, it’s okay. I have told you before, I don’t mind you feeling a little weak in front of me, Nao. You don’t have to look collected every second, you know, I don’t like seeing you bottling it up and hiding from me when you need me the most. Let me help you. Please.” 

  


The last words sounded _too_ desperate, like he had been wanting to say the words for a _long time_ but he didn’t want the other to feel weaker than he had already been feeling since he stepped out of that surgery some years ago. But it seemed like there was more to it, not just Nao feeling discomfortable or stressed, it seemed like Nao was avoiding something by denying his need to see the doctor again. And Natsuya would even pay all the money he gained in his races around the world if someone would tell him what was making his best friend feel too cautious and kind of scared. 

  


“Thank you.” A whisper. 

  


“Thank you, Natsuya. For always being here for me.” He said it loudly this time, eyes looking up to meet the amber irises, a smile carrying all the worry in the world formed slowly on his lips, he tilted his head to the side a little to repeat again. 

  


“Thank you.” 

  


Natsuya was the one at loss of words this time. 

  


His mouth opened and closed but nothing came out. Nao tucked his head down a little and moved a hand to touch his cup. Before he proceeded to take ahold of it and raise the cup to his lips, a hand was quicker to grab his wrist. _Firm_. But not hurting. 

  


“Natsuya?”

  


Said Natsuya was staring at Nao’s glassy eyes too hard, as if he wanted to see more than just a pair of olive pupils in them. 

  


_Begging_. 

  


These amber eyes, they looked like they were begging Nao’s green ones. 

  


_What was happening?_

  


Nao’s heart stopped for a second. 

  


_Familiar_. 

  


Something about the moment felt familiar, but he didn’t know where he was or what was happening then. 

  


“Nao, I…” 

  


The words died in his tongue, hand still around the pale wrist. 

  


They fell into a pregnant silent, Nao’s mind trying to recall the memory ( _was it even a memory?_ ) and Natsuya’s heart beating loudly in his ears. 

  


Before another second ticked, a person cleared his throat and sent both of them jumping from their seats. They turned together to stare at the teal haired guy standing beside their table, hands shoved inside his jeans pockets. 

  


“Ikuya?” Natsuya muttered, confused and glad at the same time. 

  


The little brother shrugged and sat beside Nao, eyeing their hands weirdly. 

  


Natsuya let go of Nao instantly and pulled his hand back to rest on his thigh, a slight change of color on his cheeks. Nao retreated his wrist almost gradually, still confused about the moment they just shared. 

  


“Is he acting weird again?” The male beside him said, annoyance obvious in his voice. 

  


“Ikuya!” Came his older brother’s loud yell. 

  


“What are you even doing here?” Natsuya eyed him the same way Ikuya had eyed them earlier, trying to change the topic cunningly but _failing_ miserably, because Ikuya had always _enjoyed_ harassing him in front of Nao like this. 

  


“Came to watch you making an absolute idiot out of yourself in front of Nao.” 

  


“Ikuya!” 

  


Nao, to be honest with himself, was enjoying it so far. They had always entertained him with their Tom and Jerry fights since Ikuya and Natsuya solved that little misunderstanding between them in middle school. Since then, they grew even more close to each other, Natsuya complaining to Nao about his little brother ignoring his calls and only talking to him over texts that came once or twice a month always made a proud smile slip into his lips before he would tell Natsuya that Ikuya was just acting stubborn ( _according to them, but to Ikuya, he was just being a mature adult and not a baby brother, although Natsuya still hadn’t changed his name from Baby Ikuya to just Ikuya under said little brother’s request_ ). 

  


“Naaaao, aren’t you going to defend your poor Natsuya!?” 

  


Nao would have paid to watch a movie featuring these two antics if he could, he just needed to pretend that he was on the whiny one’s side and not agreeing with half ( _all_ ) of what Ikuya had said every time he tried to state these facts about his older brother. 

  


“Well, you were acting weird,” 

  


It was half the truth, Nao couldn’t still understand what was happening at the exact moment Natsuya pulled both of them into another world when their hands touched. But he was sure the other knew exactly what he was doing. 

  


“Uh, I just…” Yup, definitely hiding something. 

  


“Okay?” Nao raised a brow at him. 

  


“It’s not important.” 

  


Well, it must be far from important, Nao thought. But he let it go, after all, he wasn’t one to talk. The text he got some weeks ago and the call he received just know were weighting on his heart like a block of cement, he knew it wouldn’t go unnoticed for long. Sooner or later, Natsuya would know. 

  


“I’m hungry. Buy me something.” Ikuya, who just invited himself to their table and made himself comfy beside Nao, said and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Eyes matching the bloody ones from across him poured holes onto his brother’s face. 

  


“Why would _I_ buy _you_ something? Shouldn’t _you_ be the one treating me? I’m literally the one who _flew his ass_ back here to see _you_!” Natsuya argued, although he knew he would give in in the end anyway. 

  


“Lair. You came back to see Nao.” Ikuya snorted and leaned back in his seat.

  


“But you are still the idiot he knew back in middle school no matter what.” 

  


At that, Natsuya jumped from his seat and ran to bring his little brother something just to make him shut up. 

  


“He hasn’t changed at all,”

  


“I know. Idiotic and troublesome weirdo as ever.” 

  


“You love him, though.” 

  


“I don’t.” Ikuya turned to stare at the tan male making an order for him with a small smile on his pouty lips.

  


“Idiot,” He muttered before he breathed out a sigh. 

  


He wasn’t aware of the tension building up between his brother and Nao a few moments ago, or if he was, he didn’t point it out. But he caught some of the words coming out of Nao’s mouth when he was talking over the phone outside the place earlier, it was a mere coincidence to see him in front of the restaurant. And if he had grown used to the calm and soft tone of Nao’s voice when he coached them back in middle school, he could tell that the tone Nao used over the phone was anything _but_ calm and soft. Ikuya knew that Natsuya would do anything from giving up on his dream to selling his kidney just to know what had been going on with Nao for the past months ( _not that he didn’t notice the slight worry in his voice when he would pick up his call after he just finished one with some relative_ ). 

  


But the teal haired guy didn’t want to cause a commotion the moment he arrived to the restaurant and so he settled on teasing the taller male between them a little until he got a moment with Nao _alone_. 

  


“Hey, you okay?” He said quietly, tone similar to the one he used with Hiyori when he knew that something, which he didn’t want Ikuya to worry about, had been bothering him.

  


Nao took a long time to respond, Ikuya’s suspicion was right then. Something was wrong. 

  


“Yeah.” Nao gave him a tired smile. 

  


Ikuya might not be Natsuya when it came to understanding the lilac haired male, but he could easily sense the distress coming from his mouth when he answered Ikuya’s question.

  


_Why don’t you tell him?_

  


Ikuya wanted to say. 

_  
_

_He is worried about you. You are important to him. Just tell him. Let him help you. Please_. 

  


But he turned to huff a sigh. Ikuya didn’t like the sad smile plastering on Nao's face, he didn’t like it at all. Nao was _hurt_. Ikuya had to talk to his brother about this. They needed to do something. They wouldn’t stand still while watching the angel fall into a dark abyss alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will try to keep the updates regular ^^


	3. Feeling each other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsuya loses it when Nao doesn't give him an answer. 
> 
> Also a certain smiley giant makes an appearance in this (short?) chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whos feeling too generous to drop this early update today!!? yup this girl here. just couldn't wait and decided to write it into a separate chapter. sorry if it sounds too rushed ;_;
> 
> you might wanna grab some tissues too

"Better not forget about your promise next week!"

  
Natsuya said with a grin as he circled an elbow around his little brother's shoulder.

  
" _Get off_ ,"

  
Nao chuckled as he walked behind the Kirishima brothers, the sky stained dark purple-blue above their heads. He glanced at the clock on his phone screen, 8:45 p.m.; maybe they would still have time to pick up some groceries from the store nearby Nao's apartment after all. He absolutely wouldn't let the brown haired brunette any close to his kitchen area _again_ , not after he showed Nao his _awesome_ skills and nearly set the whole place on fire last time he touched the stove. Nao grabbed him from the wrist as gentle as he could and made him sit down and wait for his food to be served patiently. " _Be a good boy_ ," Nao said and turned on the stove to make both of them edible food. And not some ugly-looking _crap_ Natsuya was going to make before he was stopped from destroying Nao's precious kitchen.

  
"Hey, isn't that the store? Why don't you tag along, _baby bro?_ "

Natsuya beamed and pointed at the direction of the grocery shop. It must be day of coincidences today because they had just discovered that Ikuya's dorm was a few blocks away from Nao's apartment's complex. Nao didn't feel them walking all that distance from the restaurant until they were walking down toward the shop's street, maybe he would have noticed if he could stop worrying about his best friend _murdering_ his kitchen. 

"Yeah. It would be nice. At least this time I'll have Ikuya helping me in stopping you from packing the cart with that instant ramen thing you are crazy about." 

"I would love to accompany you, Nao. But _not_ with this idiot."

"Ikuya!"

"And why do you even eat that thing? Isn't Nao making you some healthy and decent meals?"

Ikuya stared at his older brother with his _famous_ death glare, making the latter roll his eyes and take some steps back from where he was walking beside Ikuya to throw an arm around his best friend's shoulder.

"Of course Nao is a _pro_ when it comes to cooking." He said proudly. "Don't get me wrong, baby. I appreciate your effort but I sometimes just feel like eating that delicious block of ramen. I promise that you won't stop eating it after you try it, because that thing has just this super power-"

"Or you are just an ungrateful idiot who likes junk food more than Nao's balanced food." Ikuya said without even turning to him, legs already walking toward the grocery shop's entrance.

"Leave me alone!" Natsuya's yell sounded even louder in Nao's ear because he was still having his arm around Nao's shoulder. Nao didn't say anything about the _pet_ name because honestly, he was getting tired from scolding the other about it each time he used it. He knew that Natsuya had grown up to be a spoiled brat and had to learn to use some tricks and nicknames in order to avoid some of Nao's exhausting and logical orders. " _I'm too comfy right now, honey. Maybe you can pass me that soda can since you are already standing beside the table?_ " Natsuya once said and adjusted his position on Nao's couch so he could watch the film with one hand deep inside the popcorn bag and the other supporting his head. " _Don't call me that. And you can grab the can by yourself. The table is literally sitting in front of you._ " Nao said over his shoulder and continued his walk to the fridge. " _But Naaaaao, it's, uh, too far. I can't reach it from here!_ " Natsuya whined. " _Then get down from the couch so you can reach it_ ," Nao said and took out a carton of milk because he knew that the other male would soon want his night treat delivered. How did his stomach even accommodate all this food in one sit? " _Naaaaao, baby, please do it for me_." Another whines echoed in the apartment. " _I told you not to call me that,"_ Nao argued but sat down at the other end of his couch and passed the brat his soda can anyway. " _You're the best!_ " Natsuya yelled without even turning his gaze from the screen. Nao sighed and leaned back to enjoy the show.

  
"Hey, you alright?" Natsuya said, _whispered_ , because he was too close to him.

"Yeah. Just thinking about what a _brat_ you have grown up to be."

"You too?" The chocolate mob gasped. "Nao! I thought we were buddies! The _buddiest_ buddies actually."

"Move your legs, _turtle_." Nao said and walked behind Ikuya into the shop, leaving Natsuya to stumble on his feet and hurry after them.

* * *

  
"You sure you don't want us to walk you home?"

Natsuya said and swung the bags in his hand a little.

"I _don't_ need someone to walk me home because I'm _not_ a kid."

"You will always be my baby bro, Ikuya! Just accept your fate." Natsuya gave his little brother a boyish grin and pulled him in for a brief hug.

"How do you even continue to deal with him? He's getting intolerable every day." Ikuya said to Nao after he struggled out of his older brother's tight embrace. _Tight_ , because even his brief and simple hugs were tighter than Ikuya's ones himself (not that Ikuya had enjoyed giving him any hugs, the teal haired male words).

"In case you don't know already, Nao likes me the way I'm. _You_ do too." Natsuya nodded to himself.

"See ya." Ikuya gave them a small hand-wave before he started walking off to the direction of his dorm building, Nao giving him a small smile with a soft ' _good night, Ikuya_ '.

"Take care, baby bro! And call me once you get there, 'kay!" Natsuya yelled and _definitely_ got another death glare from the other.

  
"He loves you."

  
"I know. He's just as stubborn as he was in middle school." Natsuya sighed and turned to fall into step with Nao. "The stay at the states gave us some time to bond before we would walk our separate ways, you know. But I still feel like I could have done _more_ for him."

Nao noticed the change in tone whenever the taller was talking about his relationship with his brother. His voice would get quieter, _softer_.

  
"You are doing great now, that is what matters." Nap said with a soft smile playing on his lips. He felt like he had been watching these two grow up to be the fine, talented swimmers they were right now, and he couldn't help but feel proud of both of them, as if he was the _father_ who looked after them from the very beginning.

"I'm trying, yeah?" Natsuya huffed, much like how Ikuya did earlier, and removed his arm from Nao's shoulder to bring it to rest over his bag by his side. "I don't know why I feel like something bad is going to happen to him when I'm not here." A sad smile replaced his usual cocky and boyish smirk. 

"I'm _so_ worried about him, Nao."

It was too soft that Nao could have missed it if he wasn't walking this close to him.

The green eyed male stopped in his tracks. Both hands occupied by their grocery shopping bags, he maneuvered them into one hand and extended the other to touch his best friend's shoulder gently. He didn't say anything until Natsuya met his gaze.

"I know how you feel. Because it's the same way I feel every time you set off for a new adventure." There was a masked expression he tried so hard to hide, and wished he was doing a good job at it.

"Nao..."

"I can't help but worry about you. But then I look at that picture you sent me right after you won your first race and do you know what makes me feel better after I look at it? That _proud_ smile on your face. I want you to think about this the same way I do. Look at Ikuya, he's gone so far, and _yet_ he has more to achieve and claim. He isn't weak anymore, he still needs you and all his friends by his side, but he knows that he needs to become stronger for _himself_ first." 

Of all the wise things that had ever came out of Nao's mouth, these words didn't just sound _too_ right and good to be heard but they also set Natsuya's heart into this calming state it could have never been set into without Nao. 

  
"I...I understand his passion and will to get stronger. I just..."

A hand squeezed his shoulder.

"I know. You just want to be with him so you don't regret it if anything happens to him."

_Bless_ Nao for his superb ability to read hismind like an open book. 

"He's a beast. But he's different from you. He acts ignorant and standoffish but I can see these slightly worried glances he throws here and there." And before he could rethink about his words, they had already left his mouth. 

Well, _too late_. Because Natsuya’s eyes narrowed as he kept his gaze fixed on Nao.

"He was worried about you too, right? Just like _me_." There, Natsuya said it. He couldn't wait anymore, and thankfully the conversation was started by _Nao_ himself.

"We are talking about your brother-"

"Just tell me already!"

Natsuya's voice came out harsher than it was supposed to. And suddenly, the talk about Ikuya was all forgotten and instead, they were having the conversation they both knew was coming sooner or later.

"Natsuya..." His hand let go of Natsuya's shoulder and fell by his side.

"Are you in pain?" Natsuya whispered in a hushed voice, scared of saying the words too loud. "Is it...about your _eye_?"

He waited patiently, but the olive irises never met his bloody ones. And when silence did the answering to both of his questions, the bags slipped from his hands and fell to the ground with a loud thud. His heart skipped a beat and he felt too numb to move a muscle.

_Did he finally go to see the doctor?_

_Did they say it is something bad?_

_Why in the world did he not tell Natsuya about it until now?_

_Was he...scared?_

" _O-Oh m-my God_..." His mouth was trembling, the words felt too painful to utter. He didn't want to ask. _Heck_ , he wanted to take it all back. He didn't want to know what Nao was told about his eye. He didn't want anything but for best friend to be okay.

His _savior_.

His _Nao_.

_Dizzy_.

He felt too dizzy to think. He didn't know what was happening but the last thing he caught sight of before he passed out was a pair of glittering green eyes and a star dissolving into a sea of darkness above his head.

* * *

  
There was something radiating with warmth beside him.

  
Natsuya parted his lips to let out a groan before his eyes opened slowly. It was dim, _thank God_. Because the last thing he wanted to happen to him was to find himself lying on a hospital's bed. 

"How do you feel?"

An angelic voice came from beside the bed. Natsuya turned to see a pair of forest green eyes staring back at him. A smile lit up the face of no other than the happy kid Natsuya remembered from his middle school days when he was the captain of the swimming team.

"M-Makoto?"

  
Makoto nodded twice and uttered a soft ' _mhn_ ' before he opened his mouth to talk again.

"Do you feel better?"

"What the hell happened to me?"

Another groan squeezed itself out of his lips. He brought a hand to his head, massaging his scalp.

"It was a fluke of luck that I ran into you and Nao on my way to the grocery shop this evening."

Grocery shop?

Nao?

_Nao_!

"Don't worry, he's still sleeping. He said he won't fall asleep and will wait for you to wake up but I guess he didn't realize how _tired_ he is." Makoto finished with a sad smile.

Tired.

Nao was tired.

Wasn't taking care of himself.

Was in pain.

"Did you carry me here?" Natsuya asked, trying to distract his mind for a second.

"Well, yeah." Makoto laughed quietly behind his hand. "Nao had to carry the bags so I carried you on my back and don't worry, the distance wasn't that far. Plus, I don't mind even if it was." Another smile blossomed on his face.

"But he was so worried about you. He had to take a glance at you every two steps, I don't know what worried him that much but he looked kinda sad."

Natsuya knew he would worry his best friend sick, but he really didn't register what was happening to him when the conclusions came floating to his mind earlier. He still hadn't believed them. He didn't _want_ to.

"Well, guess I'll take my leave now." Makoto stood up after he gave the amber eyed male a sweet smile.

"Hold on, trains don't work at this hour, right?"

"They don't. And that's why Nao told me that it was okay to spend the night here. Hope you don't mind having me for tonight."

Natsuya stared at him for a second before he chuckled. "Of course. What was I thinking? Of course he wouldn't let you leave after you helped us."

"Not just that," Makoto's words made Natsuya's head turn to him in surprise.

"He also seemed to not want to be alone while you were unconscious. I don't know what happened but he looked like he was beating himself up for it and was _scared_ when you would wake up and ask about it."

Natsuya only lowered his head in shame, he had no idea that his acts were making Nao feel _this_ way.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"No, it's okay. Thanks for telling me, Makoto. And thanks for everything else." He managed to give the younger coach a tired smile.

"Mhn! Have a good one." He said with a slight bow and left the bedroom area to take the couch. Natsuya could only thank Nao about a million times in his head that he bought a new bigger couch for his apartment because Natsuya had been complaining about the old one even though he didn't practically live here and only occupied the place when he would come back from his adventures around the world. Now Makoto wouldn't suffer from having his limbs dangling off the couch or anything and would enjoy a peaceful sleep. Natsuya sighed and turned to the male sitting on the floor and leaning his back on the right side of the bed. 

Nao looked even _more_ tired than Natsuya remembered when he caught his anxious acts earlier at the restaurant. His mouth was slightly open as he was humming something in his sleep. The rise and fall of his chest wasn't the usual quite pattern of a sleeping person, Natsuya had noticed. He swung his legs around the bed's edge and knelt quietly beside Nao, a hand shaking his shoulder gently. 

"Nao, wake up."

His eyelids parted briefly before they snapped shut again.

"Nao, you should sleep on your bed. Come on," Natsuya brought another hand to his other shoulder. 

"Wh-uh,"

Something was wrong.

Nao was trembling.

His breathing got heavier and he was saying something that Natsuya couldn't make out.

"Nao, hey, it's me."

The shaking of his body stopped for a second before his eyes snapped open. Olive pupils searching for something to hold onto in the dimness of the place.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here." Natsuya whispered and moved one hand to cup the pale male's cheek. As if the touch would make him calm down a little and reassure him about the reality of the situation.

"N-Natsuya..."

"Yup, that's me. Relax, okay? I'll give you some time to take a deep breath. Can you do that for me, Nao?" The way he said his name could lull him to sleep, but Nao struggled to keep his eyes open and do what the taller had told him to.

"Good. You feel better now?"

A small nod.

Natsuya didn't let go of his shoulder, nor did he remove the hand cupping his cheek. Instead, he inched closer to the male, their foreheads almost touching.

"Look at me, Nao." He had said the words too many times, but he still felt like he needed Nao to do more than just looking at him.

Two olive jewels met his gaze, wide and scared and panicking.

"Nao."

A whisper.

When the wave of courage washed over his slightly soar body, he moved the hand from Nao's cheek to cup the back of his head instead, pulling him closer, closer than they had ever been before. His other palm rested gently on Nao's back and began to sooth him into a peaceful lullaby. It was the most _intimate_ hug they had ever shared, and Natsuya didn't want it to come to an end any sooner. He could feel the other relaxing a little against his chest. He twirled some of Nao’s bright purple hair ends in his fingers and proceeded to comb the silky strands gently, mimicking the way Nao had done when he would fall asleep during their studying sessions in middle school. 

"I'm here."

He didn't know how much of a reassurance his words could be but he was determined to take care of the shorter male this time now that he was back in their hyacinth-smelling apartment and sitting beside Nao and not behind his rigid phone screen.

  
“I-I’m sorry…”

  
“Hey, it’s alright. You don’t have to apologize or say anything, Nao.”

  
The jingling of the bracelets around his wrist melded softly with the night’s melodic atmosphere as his hand kept drawing circles on Nao’s back. He reminded of the way little Ikuya would fall asleep in his embrace when their mother had to stay over at their aunt’s place for some days to help in taking care of the woman when she would find difficulties moving around after she got her knee joint replacement. Except that Ikuya was just scared and needed Natsuya to hug him to sleep and he would wake with a pink tint on his cheek the next morning knowing that he had Natsuya hold him until he fell asleep. But now, Natsuya was even more worried because he didn’t know what Nao was hiding from him. Not that he wouldn’t want to hold him for no reason.

  
“I-I still haven’t gone t-to the hospital,” Nao’s hushed voice whispered.

  
Natsuya didn’t pull back, he tightened his arm around Nao in a silent way to tell him that he could continue.

  
“I don’t feel uncomfortable all the time, just…”

So there was a possibility of him dealing with it _without_ telling anyone?

“Sometimes it gets b-blurry and hard to see out of my right eye. I thought…I thought it would go away…but it didn’t,” His last words came out with a painful sob.

  
“Hey, it’s okay. You are okay, Nao. We’ll just have to ask your doctor and see what he will say about it.”

  
“It’s n-not okay, Natsu-“ A _hiccup_ interrupted his words.

The tan male did finally pull back to grab his best friend from both shoulders, praying that his next words would penetrate his bubble of worry to envelope his heart in a blanket of warmth and comfort.

“Hey, look at me. You _are_ alright.” He whispered into the space between their faces.

A hand moved to take the pale chin in it and tilt it gently. A soft gasp escaped Nao’s mouth.

“Whatever they say or do to you, you will still be the same soft-looking Nao to me. In glasses or with eye patches, I’ll still continue to see you the same way I have been doing since I saw you for the first time. Because if you do look at yourself, Nao, if you could see _you_ the same way I do, believe me you will _never_ care about how you look or whether your eyes are hiding behind glass or patch.”

It had been a while since Nao had cried this _hard_ , with his heart pouring out everything it had been caging inside its worn cells and his mind going blank of whatever it had been stressing over for the past months as he wept in Natsuya’s arms, and even if it was happening right now, he could feel like it wasn’t _real_. Like the moment was all in his dreams. Because he had been dreaming of moments when his best friend would envelop him in hug that would make him forget about the rest of the world and instead make him feel like they were the _center_ of everything they called _their_ own world.

  
“N-Natsuya..”

  
“Hey, it’s okay. Take your time, I’ll still be here for you.”

  
Natsuya tightened his arms around Nao’s body and continued to hum soft words into his ear until both of them fell asleep holding each other, above them a roof made of hundreds of glowing fireworks as two souls swam effortlessly and moved swiftly between twinkling stars and childhood promises.

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU for reading! Please tell me what you think of this fic. 
> 
> dont forget to leave some kudos! they make natsunao so happy 
> 
>   
> https://yorememberme.tumblr.com/post/625618388957511681/wow-is-no-one-going-to-talk-about-this-sappy-look
> 
> (come say hi!)
> 
> natsunao foreva~


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